It's been a little over two months since my dad died. It is hard to describe the sadness and loss. It changes you. Navigating grief is tricky. It sneaks up on you if you resist it, it gets worse. Sitting with it and knowing that if you work through it, the sadness will go through you instead of consume you. I have so many friends, and relatives that know exactly what I am talking about, but I am just learning to know grief. I often see little reminders that remind me that my Dad is close. He continues to play tricks on us. There are little reminders on a daily basis. It just really doesn't seem real that he isn't right down the street waiting for me to come bring him a treat, or visit with him.
Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.-Jamie Anderson
One thing that has brought me comfort, is the daisy. I love daisies so much. daisies are a happy flower. I've always had daisies in my yard and so have my Mom and my Aunt Jean. Daisies became special to our family and are also a reminder that there is life after death. Here's the story.
My Aunt Jean had one son, my cousin Matt. Jean was divorced when matt was little. Our family has always been close, and we got to spend a lot of time together. Matt was one of my best friends. We were close in age and he was at our house a lot. We always had fun conversations and even hung out as teenagers. Matt served a mission in Coventry England. He had a companion that was from Nevada. When Matt got home from his mission, he went to work in Nevada with this companion. Sadly, Matt was killed on the construction site in an accident. As you can imagine the pain and sadness my Aunt Jean felt was almost unbearable. She had a big patch of daisies in the front of her house. The daisies had bloomed and were ready to be trimmed for winter. One morning when she went outside and there was a single daisy that grew up right in the middle of the previous bloomed daisies. It was a reminder that there is life after death. This has always stayed with me. Now I love daisies for lots of reasons. They make me happy and they remind me that there is life after death. I wanted to share this story with you. I hope that if you ever need a reminder that there is life after death, you will remember this story.
I know I will see my Dad again. I know there is life after death, but for now I will just look for the reminders and know that he is close.
